GLEANINGS OF GRACE

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I would like to welcome you to our first edition of Gleanings Of Grace. A once a month article of jewels that I have gleaned from the Lord and others.

For this first, issue I want to discuss with you the art of Loving your Husband. Art, you say? After much reading on the subject and practice I have found that this is an art that I have to decide to practice repeatedly. A decision. This last month I was reading the book "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George and Published by Harvest House. In it I rediscovered some techniques that reinforce how to really love and honor your husband. I have asked permission to share these 10 points with you.

#1 Pray for him daily Focusing on your husband in prayer will help you to focus on him in your heart, your thoughts, and your actions. "Where your treasure is [in this case, the treasure of your time and effort invested in prayer], there will your heart be also." Matthew 6: 21 If your husband is not a Christian, your primary prayer project is to beseech God to touch your dear one's life with His saving grace. 2 Peter 3:9, 1 Timothy 2:4 and 1 Peter 3:1-6

To pray for your husband regularly, create a page for him in your journal. Write his name at the top and then list aspects of his life you want to faithfully hold up to God----- his spiritual fights, his ministry involvements, any projects or deadlines on the job, his spiritual growth both at home and in the church, and his schedule for each day.

#2 Plan for him daily. Nothing just happens-- including a great marriage! As much as you and I might desire to be who wife who lovingly supports her husband, such loving support comes only with planning. "Forethought and diligence are sure of profit."Proverbs 21:5

A. Plan special deeds of kindness--Each morning ask God what you can do for your husband today? Sewing buttons, running errands, doing something on his fix-it list? Let God be your guide.

B. Plan special dinners

C. Plan special times alone- And these times definitely have to be planned. When the children were younger the author and his wife would go to McDonalds and order two coffees. and talk tho their hearts' content for two whole hours. As the children get older you can take time away from home for a romantic weekend.

D. Plan special dinners alone-- Again, this takes planning. Feed the kids first and plan a special meal for your husband. Candles, lights turned down----voila!---- a special dinner for two.

E.Plan an early bedtime for children---Plan to have your young children I bed early each night so that you'll have some quality time with your husband--without competition from the kids. This is a practical way of choosing your husband's company over the distractions and interruptions of the little ones.

F. Plan to go to bed at the same time--- I know a night owl can be married to an early bird, but if it's at all possible, adjust your schedule to your husband's/ What can you and I do to show our husband affectionate, indulgent friendship love? Whisper a prayer for your husband as you consider these ways to show him you care!

#3 Prepare for him daily--- Preparing for your husband's homecoming each day shows him that he's a priority and communicates your heart of love.

A. Prepare the house--Take a few minutes before your husband comes home to quickly pick up. Have the children help by putting away their toys. The goal is not perfection, but instead an impression of order and neatness.

B. Prepare your appearance--If company were coming you would do a little something to freshen up, wouldn't you? After all, the most important person in your life is about to walk into your door. Prepare the children too. Dirty faces, runny noses, hair hanging in the face don't make for the best "Welcome Home!" Committee!

D. Prepare your greeting.---Prepare to greet him. Plan your words. Prepare children to greet their father too.

E. Set the table-- Have dinners as close to ready as possible. A set table shows of the promise of what is to come!

F. Clear out all visitors--End your visiting well in advance of your husband's homecoming.

G. Stay off the phone---STAY OFF THE PHONE--Your sure to hurt someone's feelings if you're on the phone when your husband walks the door---either his feelings or the feelings of the person on the other end of the phone line. Set a cut-off time for making and receiving phone calls.

#4 Please him. If your husband is the king of the castle, you will surely delight in pleasing him. Find our is likes and dislikes and try to accommodate him

#5 Protect your time with him. You make your husband your number one human priority when you protect your time with him instead of treating him as a built-in babysitter. Make the decision If my husband is at home, I am at home.

#6 Physically love him. Read Corinthians 7:3-5. A fundamental principle for marriage is "rendering affection" to one's mate.

#7 Positively respond to him. "Sure!' "Fine! "No Problem!" "Okey-dokey!" "Great!" and "Cool!" [notice the exclamation marks?] Your immediate and gracious answer creates a non-threatening atmosphere for communication ...

#8 Praise him I have very few "never's" in my life, but one of my primary nevers is never speak critically or negatively about my husband to any one. If you catch yourself speaking critically about your husband, quickly shut your mouth and do these three things.

Search your heart..Proverbs 10:12 says "hatred stirs up strife, but love covereth all sins" If something is out of synch in your heart.....

*Seek a solution. If some serious area in your husbands life need attention, follow a better path than by putting him down. Instead devote yourself to prayer and, if you need to speak up, do so after much preparation and with gracious, edifying, sweet speech. (Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 16:21-24)

*Set a goal. Make a resolution not to speak destructively about your husband but bless him at every opportunity. Blessing your husband in public---and in private is one way to sow seeds of love for him in your heart.

#9 Pray always. We have come full circle. We began with prayer, and we end with prayer. A woman after God's own heart is a woman who prays. Try praying at these times.

*Before you speak in the morning...

*Anytime he is home...

*throughout the evening...

*As you walk to answer the phone (it could be him)...

*When you are arriving home and he is already there...

To summarize, a wife that loves her husband is a wife who prays, plans, physically loves, positivly responds -- and prays some more.

This list represents love in action. Practice this list, some or all of it, and you will be putting feet to your words of love. This list is not meant to be a to do list, or a list of "have to's". I put this list up as a means to encourage in specifice practical ways to love your husband.

I would appreciate any feed back you could give me on this new section Please e-mail me with suggestions, comments, ideas or critisim. I value what you have to say! Until next month . . .

Blessings,

Shelley