Second Harvest Curriculum

Loving Your Husband

I would like to invite you to sit down with a cup of coffee and your Bible and join me as I ask the question....

Are You A Proverbs 31 Wanna Be?

I know this has been a portion of Scripture that has fascinated me for a long time. I have for the past 7 years read and re-read his passage and thought "Lord, this is who I wanna be!" But just thinking about getting there has been overwhelming to me. The Proverbs 31 Woman description is impossible to imitate when we look at it as if this is what we are to be NOW--- this instant. But I don't think this was God's heart to put a burden on us of what we SHOULD be but to illuminate the path He wants us to take.

Have you noticed all the lovely character qualities are not things to be seen in physical beauty but rather in beauty of her character? "Character is what God and the angels know of us..." Horace Mann.

These traits are hidden attributes that become evident after they are produced. Cultivation of these qualities takes time and is forged on the fires of daily routines and often times in the flames of affliction and adversity. No one woman will have these qualities right away but, just like the rubies to which her worth is compared, they may take a lifetime to develop.

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."Proverbs 31:10. Let's take this verse and divide it up. A wife of "noble character" is apparently uncommon. The dictionary defines noble as, " Of, in, or belonging to the nobility; (a child of the King!) having or showing qualities of high moral character, as courage, generosity or honor." In today's world these are indeed hard to find, just like a good ruby. Rubies are extraordinary and costly. In fact, high quality rubies are today still more valuable and rare than even the top quality colorless diamonds. Top rubies are so scarce even the world's leading gem dealers must incessantly comb estate sales and auctions to find them.

One suggestion I have for you is to go mining Proverbs 31 and uncover the rubies of her character. Character is the combination of qualities, features, or attributes that distinguishes one group, or person in this case, from another; moral ethical strength; integrity and fortitude. As you proceed through Proverbs 31, write down all the character qualities that she possesses.

Remember, there is a difference between God-created rubies and man-made rubies. God-created rubies take centuries to make and are priceless in worth, while man-made rubies take considerably less time to make and are of less value and quality. In other words...ask God to create in you these characteristic rather than create them in yourself like the synthetic rubies. List the qualities you desire to posses. How can you make them a part of your life?

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value" Proverbs 31:11. What makes a husband have full confidence in his wife? A husband whose wife is loyal has full confidence in her. Loyalty is the act of being faithful to a person, cause, or a nation. I had to ask myself what does faithful mean? Being faithful means to be truthful, trusting, and obedient. As I looked through the Bible I found some examples of godly women whos lives paint a better picture than I could with mere words. You may use the follwing activities to introduce you to the role loyalty to their husbands played in these womens lives.

Eve...Look in Genesis 3:1-13. How did Eve prove to be untrustworthy? How did her action eafect Adam and all of mankind? How can we relate the importance of our trustworthiness to our husband and family?
Sarah....Scan Genesis 12:10-19 and Genesis 20. Write down the qualities you see in Sarah. What actions made her husband's heart secure in her? In who did Sarah have full "confidence," her husband or God? What does God say about Sarah? 1Peter 3:4-6.
Abigail...Search 1 Samuel 25:1-44. Write down the qualities you see Abigail had. Was her husband's heart secure in her? Should have it been? What action did she take to "do good" to her husband? Did her husband "deserve" her loyalty by the worlds standards? By God's Standards?
Evaluate how you can gain your husband's confidence in these areas:

Discretion Do you know when not to tell your best friend about your fights? His faults?
Loyalty Do you stand by your husband even when he has made poor choices? Or when everything that can go wrong does?
Responsibility Are you able to say NO to that new dress when your budget says you need the money for groceries?
Honesty Can you tell your husband that you bought that dress and that is why you have been eating bean soup for the last 3 meals?

Those were just a few examples of when these qualities are put to the test for me. Why don't you ask the Lord to guide you in developing one or more of these qualities in your life and show you the steps to achieve them.

Have you thought of just asking your husband what it would take for him to have "full confidence" in you?

I now have to confess to you...this has been very convicting for me and has brought back a lot of memories about how I have not always deserved my husbands full confidence. I'm still a Proverbs 31 wanna be BUT I am on my way... won't you join me?

Next month we will be going over the next 2-3 verses. Please e-mail me with your thoughts and comments. Do you like studying about the Proverbs 31 woman? Do you like or dislike the way this study was arrranged? I'm open to your comments. I so appreciate all your e-mails last month!

Until Next Month...

Shelley